08 Worrisome

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08 Worrisome

Post by Hard Knocks on Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:34 pm

Had my first live session, courtesy of Rarity, and it had some decent effects. I'm not sure if it was because I was alone through the entire reading (Or thought I was no clue really) or just the voice or some other ridiculous reason but it did have some stronger effects then the files I listened to so far.

Physical effects were limited, the only new things were my hands felt... Strange? I'm not sure of what word to use for it, sort of a tingling feeling and somewhat cramped. Not sure if that is what hooflock is, I don't think so because I was still able to move my fingers just fine. Then at the end of the session, which was sadly cut short due to livestream issues and combining cats with rain, when I got up out the the chair I had been laying back in I lost my balance for a moment and almost feel forward. I still have the same ghost feelings of ears, a muzzle, wings, and now a vague tail. Gliding upside down is still a thing that feel right to do.

Mental wise, I think I took a heavy hit. Not long after the reading ended some issues broke out in the IRC with a few people all upset at once and to be honest... I felt terrible about it. I've always felt bad when I see people upset, but this was such a bad feeling I can't really explain it with my limited vocabulary. The worst thing about it is the fact I felt like I couldn't help at all, again not something I'm unfamiliar with but this time it just got to me pretty bad to see all those people that just seemed so broken down and defenseless and feel like I couldn't help them aside from simply keeping my mouth shut.

It has been a short while (I think, I'm not good with time) since everything in the IRC calmed down but I still feel bad about not being able to help anyone and I can't get the thought out of my head that a couple of them are still sobbing or angry at themselves. It makes me feel worthless that I can't help them, or anyone really. Like yesterday a close friend of mine came to me for help because someone close to him died and all I could do was sit and listen, I feel terrible I wasn't able to console him and could just simply offer a shoulder to cry on. Plus with how I normally am, being used to taking action to help people, and the fact I don't know how to help people in situations like that is cutting deep. Even at time of writing I can hardly focus because I'm worried about them. I really wish I could have helped at all with any of them and what makes it worse is I lost my temper earlier so I think some of them are mad at me aswell.

Slightly crying,
   King Vi
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Re: 08 Worrisome

Post by CardSpin on Fri Jul 19, 2013 3:38 pm

i have yet to have a live reading, but i doubt that will happen for me any time soon.

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Re: 08 Worrisome

Post by Aurora Light on Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:02 pm

That tingly/cramped sensation sounds really familiar to how my hooflock starts to form (during the "your fingers are melting together" part). For many (and insert the Everypony Is Different disclaimer here), it's some form of fist or half-fist that results in temporary loss of your beautiful, opposable thumbs. Some prefer to let that effect stay in place for the whole session and just overcome it (hooftyping, clumsily pinching objects between two hooves to lift them, etc) whereas other people will willingly break the effect for part or all of the session, and regain use of fingers.

Helping others is a learned skill. Like everything, it takes practice and experience to know how to help. But understand that no action is too small, therefore there is no harm in starting simple. I wasn't on IRC today so I don't have any context, but you could always ask them if they're okay. Sometimes, just the knowledge that someone was worried about you, is very comforting. Or, as you mentioned at the end, if you're worried that you wronged them somehow, a simple "I'm sorry" can go a long way.

King Vi wrote:I wasn't able to console him and could just simply offer a shoulder to cry on.
Don't sell yourself too short here, however. You were there for him. That is important.
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Re: 08 Worrisome

Post by Luna on Sat Jul 20, 2013 2:51 am

Well then, I'm glad it still worked though. Whenever I do a live session, it seems to be way more stronger than intended sometimes. That live session is actually one of my experimental voice modes to inflect great emotional effects and high possibility of physical effects. There will be after effects after that. The after effects aren't that bad though.

I'm fairly sorry on how you've felt, as Rarity... it's really painful to NOT HELP AT ALL. I didn't have a chance to talk. Everypony was fighting and certainly something that shouldn't be happening.

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