Extra 04 I need a hug

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Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Jul 22, 2013 11:49 pm

I'm sorry for posting this. I'm still debating if this is a good idea or not to put up such a petty problem, but I can't hold much of anything in anymore and this atleasts lets people ignore this if they don't want to hear it.

I had another nightmare last night, and it decided to hit a soft spot for me, that being the origins of my trust issues. It started off weird with me stuck in a black void unable to move, then one by one everyone I've ever known and gotten close to started appearing. Then the people who I thought were friends at one point each made one remark about me, all pointing out something wrong with me (Bastard child, quiet, etc) and then vanishing from the circle that formed. Then my old family did similarly only listing how I disappointed them instead then vanishing aswell. Then the people I just passively stopped talking to and eventually lost contact with telling me how I abandoned them. After what felt like a couple hours of all these people talking to me the only person left was my foster sister. She wouldn't talk to me, I tried constantly to apologize for not helping her get out of the home with me but all she did was stand and stare angrily at me. After so long she also left and then there was just me... It was horrible. I felt so alone, all I could do was sit and think about how badly I treated everyone or how I let them down.

I know it doesn't seem like much but that hits hard for me. I try hard not to annoy people or make them think I'm not worth my salt, which I know I'm bad at and having it highlighted like that is terrible for me. Then the crushing loneliness... I'm sorry but for the one time in a few years I think I need a hug...

I'm sorry for complaining,
   King Vi
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by PairoMedic on Tue Jul 23, 2013 12:20 am

I'm sorry you feel this way, as I would be for anyone with a similar problem. I know someone very close to me who you reminded me of after reading your post. I'm sure most of us have felt that feeling of lonliness before; that feeling that no one would care if you disappeared off the face of the earth, but I can tell you from personal experience that there is hardly a greater feeling of importance in this world than crawling out of that state of depression, with or without help,and using your experiences to help someone else suffer a bit less. Not every part of life is easy, but why shouldn't we want to overcome it? We shouldn't give in to these negative feelings, keeping in mind though that it is normal to feel them. What you do with my advice is not important, what is important is that you know that you are NOT alone, and there is always someone who needs you, whether they know it or not.
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by CardSpin on Tue Jul 23, 2013 12:36 am

first off, something like that is not petty. most of us have had nightmares while doing hypnoses. for me it was and extremely violent dream. and it hearkened back to when i went to anger management. it was not fun.
its something you have to work through. and remember we are here for you.

oh and *HUGS*

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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Fleetfoot on Tue Jul 23, 2013 2:12 am

I'm sorry you're feeling like you've disappointed others. More often than not these kinds if dreams (or waking dreams) are only reflections of your own internal dialogues. And those can be violently distorted. This may sound kind of silly, but you should strongly consider writing down four or five affirmation statements and reciting them periodically throughout the day. *hugs*

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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Silvermoon on Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:07 am

I have read your post about your past and I have now read this one. It may be that all the Problems you had bottled up deep inside you are now surfacing, coming out slowly one after another. It may be hard to relive those memories, to feel these feelings once again, but know that there is a community behind you that will help and encourage you and that catches you in these times when you are about to fall into despair.
And when you get back up, you will feel better than before, having overcome a profound darkness deep inside you. And you will just be stronger for it.

Having said all that - here is the hug that you requested. *Hug*
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Hard Knocks on Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:35 am

TrickShy wrote:I'm sorry you're feeling like you've disappointed others. More often than not these kinds if dreams (or waking dreams) are only reflections of your own internal dialogues. And those can be violently distorted. This may sound kind of silly, but you should strongly consider writing down four or five affirmation statements and reciting them periodically throughout the day. *hugs*

 That actually sounds like a good idea. I think I'll try that.
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Lyra Heartstrings on Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:39 am

Somepony needs a 


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You're the only single person in control
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'Cause in my eyes we are the kings of our worlds
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by Aurora Light on Tue Jul 23, 2013 6:13 pm

I'm late to the party here, but... *hugs*

As mentioned, it's not petty. You've been through more than your fair share of trials and difficulties, and there's never any shame in reaching out to the support of others.
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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

Post by MidnightSky on Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:38 am

You've never failed us and you've been a wonderful addition to our community. You are always welcome here.... and you are loved. Please remember that.

::Hugs::

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Re: Extra 04 I need a hug

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