20 Worried

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20 Worried

Post by Hard Knocks on Wed Jul 31, 2013 2:23 pm

Alot to say today, some stuff about Posh, some hypno stuff, and a bit of me having anxiety.

First off, today I talked with Posh a good bit in our wonderland. At first it wasn't much just me and her wandering around talking about random things, pastry ideas, decorating, etc. Not much of importance was said, one of the biggest being that she thought the conversations on IRC are weird, which we both shared a laugh about. She is very glad to be around and seems to be thankful that I'm being nice to her and letting her talk when she wants to, even if that isn't very often. She gave me a few suggestions on what she would like in the wonderland, to be exact a bit of a smaller home and a pet to play with when I'm busy with something else, not sure if I can make her a proper pet but she was happy when I told her I would try so hopefully even if it acts a little dull she would like having one around.

Hypno wise, it has been good. In the last session today my time in the wonderland was great, Posh was around aswell but she couldn't speak again so she just walked around with me. I felt some very strong sensations over all, the only thing I couldn't really feel is the tail but Posh always looked at hers when I tried to feel it so I think she was saying 'It is there, don't worry' or something along those lines. I'll have to ask her next time we talk. Also something rather big happened, and a good thing too. At some point Posh took me into her home and showed me a mirror. I wasn't really expecting to see anything different from my normal self in it so I tried to say no to her, to which responded by pushing me in front of it and glaring at me until I looked. And there I was, I wasn't me. I looked exactly like Fluttershy, pink mane, yellow fur, four hooves, puffy tail, and a slightly scared expression from Posh. I was happy, more so then the normal calm happiness I got from most sessions, happy to the point of tears. I immediately tried to hug Posh, which was kind of difficult since it was hard to get up on my hind legs, so after the failed attempt I tried to lay a wing over her which came incredibly easily. And yes, she did have a smug happy expression, the clever bugger. And the after effects when I woke up were strong, it took a few minutes to break hoof lock, felt weak wings on my back, and I still kind of have the ear/muzzle feeling after a couple hours. Also, Posh's voice in my head told me a few encouraging words when I got up, which kind of made me tear up.

And onto the bad topic, the fact that in the next 10 days I will be having to go back to school, a senior in high school. I'm really nervous about it, not because of grades or anything, I'm smart enough to pass easily but the fact that I will be surrounded for about 8-9 hours a day by loud and mean people. I've always been shaky around crowds don't get me wrong but I'm feeling a genuine bit of terror at the thought of it, Will I freak out from hypno? Will I accidentally show I'm in hypno? Basically I'm scared, I know the people around here, and I get alot of flak for alot of things already, I'm a male pastry chef, genderless so they think I'm trans despite still acting fairly male, long hair, and I'm not going around picking fights or screaming slang. And that brings up another worry, what if EKP kicks in while I'm at school trying to act like my old self who never was hurt by anything. I really doubt I could handle being surround like that and someone trying to insult me. Also a thing teachers here love to do is have people go up and talk for projects, something I've always hated doing. I'm hoping that doesn't get any harder.

The good outweighs the bad,
   Flutter Vi and Posh
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Re: 20 Worried

Post by Fleetfoot on Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:17 pm

Don't forget that you have a well of your own experiences to draw from, in addition to Fluttershy's experiences (and Posh's, for that matter).  These experiences together will help guide you through difficult situations. I don't know about the people in your school specifically, but I know that, in general,  people around you tend to respond positively when you are, yourself, positive. So if you draw happiness from your experiences as Fluttershy, that will radiate outward, and hopefully others will reflect that back to you. I can only speak from personal experience, so your results may vary. But be on the lookout for people, especially, who look sad or frustrated. Try offering a smile, and you may be surprised by the results, if you manage eye contact. It will make both you and the other person feel better. It won't work every time, but you will remember the times when it does. Practice it before you start up classes again! And let us know how it works out.

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Re: 20 Worried

Post by Hard Knocks on Wed Jul 31, 2013 3:28 pm

TrickShy wrote:Try offering a smile, and you may be surprised by the results, if you manage eye contact. It will make both you and the other person feel better. It won't work every time, but you will remember the times when it does. Practice it before you start up classes again! And let us know how it works out.

 I would try that, but I've never been good at talking to random people. I'm always worried I'll be annoying them, and for some reason I have an incredible fear of looking someone in the eye when I talk with them. It makes me uncomfortable.
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Re: 20 Worried

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