37 Anxious

Go down

37 Anxious

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:44 pm

This is the last post before I start school, so boo. And spent a portion of the day alone with my mom. Hasn't been fun.

Hypno stuff

Nothing noteworthy, a fairly normal session in the morning and later in the day.

Tulpa stuff

Didn't spend much time in the wonderland with them today, called off to go shopping for clothes. With which they helped me pick out some stuff, mostly grey colored with a few bright ones thrown in. Some simple ones Posh picked because it suited me, Gypsy had me get some that had atleast something interesting on them since I wouldn't wear those bright colors all the time. They also really helped keep me stable for a couple events later on.

Misc stuff

As said above, spent the day shopping for clothes, with my mom. Surrounded by loud people who can't mind their own business. So, first bit was ok I convinced her to only take me to two places, JC Penny's instead of the entire mall and Target for pants. Our car ride there was ok, she didn't poke at me too much so thats good atleast. At JC Penny's I swear everyone in Florida was there, walkways and registers were packed, I had to pass up on trying clothes on because the wait would have been hours and alot of them really wanted to talk to us. And they all couldn't help but poke at me, why do I have long hair, why am I so quiet, why am I slouched, why I'm sweating and shaking. Needless to say it wasn't fun, it felt like I was going to have a panic attack at any second and I forgot to bring my medicine with me. Thankfully Posh and Gypsy were helping atleast to calm me down, still had a bad heart rate and sweating horribly. My mom would not listen to me when I asked to leave either, she said that the 5 shirts along with the 8 I have at home wasn't enough. The time at Target was better, just bought a few cheap pants and a new jacket, which will probably the only thing I wear same as the last few years of school. She tried to force me into a packed aisle to buy a new hat, despite me having eight thanks to my grandma. The ride home though, ehh... I won't lie, it wasn't fun. She felt the need to reassure that I'll have a horrible time finding a job because of how I look and dress, how weird it is I'm androgen (Feels weird saying that), and anything other flaw she could see. Don't get me wrong she is a great mother and raised me well. But she forgets how much weight her words hold, and sure she might be used to me being so emotionless but still, it hurts to have her remind me of just how terrible I am. I can't ask her to stop either, she will just be mad at me and I just don't have it in me. Posh and Gypsy managed to keep me up enough to stay with the same look on my face as always, although I think I made her mad. I started to lose my tone when she started asking questions, something between scared and crushed. Atleast that made her stay quiet, feel bad about it though.

I hope the first day goes well,
   Flutter Vi, Posh, Gypsy
avatar
Hard Knocks
True self
True self

Posts : 433
Bits : 903
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2013-07-14
Age : 21
Location : In her blanket pile

Tulpa Sheet
Tulpa Name: Posh-Gypsy
Gender: Female
Form: Earth mare-Pegasus mare

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: 37 Anxious

Post by Cheese Sandwich on Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:56 pm

Doesn't school shopping just suck XD Its the low side of my summer!

_________________
Cheese Sandwich
The Super Duper Party Pony

I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned
avatar
Cheese Sandwich
Cheese Sandwich
Cheese Sandwich

Posts : 2021
Bits : 2958
Reputation : 1266
Join date : 2013-07-01
Age : 21
Location : I travel, my location is anywhere were theres a need for a party!

Tulpa Sheet
Tulpa Name: [Spectra}/-Ne'a-
Gender: Male/Female
Form: Ponies

View user profile https://www.youtube.com/user/SpectraPony

Back to top Go down

Re: 37 Anxious

Post by Soarin on Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:40 pm

I'm not sure if I'm reading this right, but did you just say that you're terrible? Because if so, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you couldn't be farther from the truth. You seem like you're very nice and caring. You shouldn't let them make you feel bad about being yourself. You also shouldn't say such awful things about yourself. Especially when they're not true. It just seems like they always point out what they think is bad, and never the good in you. I just don't see how they can say that you're flawed just because of the way you have your hair or the way you dress. If you enjoy your hair being long then there's nothing wrong with that. I use to have long hair myself and always had my family and friends making fun of me and telling me that I shouldn't. It bothered me at first, but I soon got over it. Because that's what I wanted and enjoyed. The same goes for how you dress. It's your life, and they shouldn't say your flawed just because you enjoy looking a certain way. It is nice to hear how helpful and caring Posh and Gypsy are however. They seem like they'd be wonderful to hang out with.

Anyways, I hope that school goes well for you tomorrow. Good luck!

_________________
Soaring through the bright skies...

"It's always darkest before the dawn."
avatar
Soarin
Admin
Admin

Posts : 799
Bits : 1197
Reputation : 531
Join date : 2013-07-09
Age : 27
Location : New York

Tulpa Sheet
Tulpa Name: Lightning/Ra1nbat/Filly Pie/Applejack/Rarity/Fluttershy/Scoota100/SweetieByt3
Gender: More than 2 Tulpa
Form: Unknown/Bat Pony/Filly Earth Pony/Earth Pony/Unicorn/Pegasus/Filly Pegasus/Filly Unicorn

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: 37 Anxious

Post by Twilight[Tay] on Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:49 am

I understand what it's pike being put down constantly by your Mum. I'm continually being reminded of how badI am at doing things like motivating myself, and the few times I have tried to talk back, she has brought up other flaws to try and keep me quiet. She even tried to use my love of the show as a standpoint for why I am not very socially talented. And that got a lot more than mad.

Vi, if your Mum ever talks to you like that again, just remind yourself how brilliant you are, because you are brilliant. You are a calm, friendly and overall wonderful pony. Don't forget that, and we all love you for it.

Posh and Gypsy, thank you so muchfor keeping Vi calm. You're awesome *hugs Vi, Posh and Gypsy*

-Lunaclipse

_________________


Good friends will carry you where money won't go.
avatar
Twilight[Tay]
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight Sparkle

Posts : 623
Bits : 976
Reputation : 409
Join date : 2013-06-19
Age : 21
Location : The United Equestrian Kingdom

Tulpa Sheet
Tulpa Name: Tay
Gender: Male
Form: Eevee

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: 37 Anxious

Post by Hard Knocks on Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:17 am

Thank you both for your kind words, they were exactly what I needed right now. That being getting ready for the first day of school, hopefully I had enough sleep to keep me up all day.
avatar
Hard Knocks
True self
True self

Posts : 433
Bits : 903
Reputation : 232
Join date : 2013-07-14
Age : 21
Location : In her blanket pile

Tulpa Sheet
Tulpa Name: Posh-Gypsy
Gender: Female
Form: Earth mare-Pegasus mare

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: 37 Anxious

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum