Extra 16 Heavy mind

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Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:34 am

I feel stupid for making two posts so close to each other, but I won't be able to sleep unless I let these things out. Sorry for partial venting post, but I need help with some of it.

Tulpa stuff

Ok so, it should be known enough that both Posh and Gypsy are very forcefully willed tulpae. Posh pushed into existence and almost acts as a backbone for me, and Gypsy forced herself into imposition and toke over my arm (Once almost breaking it to get my attention). And as it seems Gypsy is willing to make jokes with her abilities, she has already pulled off a few tricks and now she has been given a few ideas that are taking it too far. I am not really comfortable sharing what any of them are, just leave it at one upsets me and the other is upsetting Posh. Onto Posh, she hates when I don't let her type it seems, or atleast when she is mad. She wanted to let loose her rage on the person who gave Gypsy the ideas, I didn't want her to, and for revenge she gave me a massive headache that still hasn't passed, and worse yet she is mad at Gypsy too. So yay, headache, heavy mind/heart, and tulpae who are mad at each other (They simmered down but they gone into hiding/sleep too).

Attitude stuff

I think I found the perfect way to help with my 'Viking' habits, aggressive protection. I caught my step dad cutting up a tree... at night... while drunk. Don't ask that man is insane. And I basically dragged him off the ladder and ripped his mini chainsaw's cord off. So yay? I'm thinking about how I can use the extreme amount of energy/strength I get from anger in a good way aside from destroying gardening equipment, I'm considering old fashion wood carving. Just a axe and chisel to make some nice sculptures, maybe even some bird houses.

Gender stuff

I'm starting to really think of myself  as feminine, I've tried to keep a male mindset and I just can't. The only time I've managed to is when I'm extremely angry. Whenever I look at myself now I'm starting to feel uncomfortable aswell, something just feels so off about the hairy giant staring back. I can't really describe it, I'm sorry but I'm still bad with words (Give me a break I've ignored everything for years).
So now I want to try to experiment with this a little bit, only problem being I don't know where to start terribly well...
I'm scared to do anything too visible, partly because it is probably a pain when you're over 6 foot, hairier then bigfoot, and shaped like a brick. Other part being I'm just nervous about trying it, even if it is just to be sure of what I am, because I have no idea how my family will react. With my mom being brash and still not accepting me as hers she can easily kick me out on the street. Then my step dad, he already hates my guts and probably wants me dead as badly as my biological dad, he would probably try to kill me in my sleep too or remove his limits on abuse. Sister I'm not worried about, she just thinks of me as the guy who cooks and makes the nice pictures. The only grandparent I have to worry about is my grandma on my mom's side. She seems nice and calm about everything but she talks behind your back alot. My biological mom scares me the most, because I don't know her well enough to predict a response.

Small vent aside, anypony know good ideas on how to experiment with genders is more discreet ways?

I'll probably have to post again tomorrow,
   Flutter Vi...
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Capt on Mon Sep 16, 2013 3:09 am

Awww Sweetie~ *Hug~*


Tulpa: You guys need to knock it off! You don't hurt people you care about!

Attitude: That might be a good idea. Good way to generate a little income under the table too.

Gender: Not sure what to tell you here. =/  There are ways to slip some small things by. Wearing long pants would hide any shaving experiments *cough* ditto for leaving your shirts buttoned up.
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Star Shard on Mon Sep 16, 2013 7:09 am

If you are really that hairy. Perhaps you can start trimming it down to normal levels.
Or become a bit übersexual like bono or Brad Pit. 

There is no reason to look more feminine while still experimenting with making up and such.

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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Cheese Sandwich on Mon Sep 16, 2013 7:14 am

And I basically dragged him off the ladder and ripped his mini chainsaw's cord off.
WOW!!!!!!! Amazing Pinkie Pie Gasp

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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:09 am

On mobile so I can't quote, but in response to Twilie it isn't that I have a lot of hair more just how fast it grows. My body hair grows to normal lengths within a day or two of shaving. Also I don't know those people or what ubersexuality is.
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by platinum on Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:46 am

Flutter Vi wrote:On mobile so I can't quote, but in response to Twilie it isn't that I have a lot of hair more just how fast it grows. My body hair grows to normal lengths within a day or two of shaving. Also I don't know those people or what ubersexuality is.
Bono is the lead singer of U2, Brad Pitt is an actor, and it means metrosexual (at least that is what I think it is).
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Star Shard on Mon Sep 16, 2013 9:01 am

Ubersexuality is a variant of metrosexuality. 
Basically it is taking the same time and devotion a woman does in their looks. But without trying to looking feminine.

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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Fleetfoot on Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:12 am

Hey I learned something new.

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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by platinum on Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:09 pm

TrickShy wrote:Hey I learned something new.
Isn't it great to learn new things.
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:03 pm

Eh, bugger all to a whole new post. I'm just gonna update in here.

Posh and Gypsy are back, they were gone almost all day and I think the only reason I found them was thanks to Mister. Just forced with him for a while and asked where they were, he knew and lead me to them, both were unconscious but they came to not long ago.

Oh and Gypsy can switch between male and female now.

And I think I will be trying to shave a bit more, kind of a pain when it regrows fully in two days but thats never stopped me before.
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Capt on Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:00 pm

Well that's good.  That's odd you had to go and find them isn't it?
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

Post by Hard Knocks on Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:18 pm

It was rather odd. But I've learned to stop questioning these things.
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Re: Extra 16 Heavy mind

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