And so it begins.... (Journal Entry 1)

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And so it begins.... (Journal Entry 1)

Post by Midnight Soul on Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:29 pm

Hi everypony! Midnight here! I mentioned in my "Hello" thread wanting to contribute to this community somehow...well, I think I found my first way! Happy I worked for two-ish weeks with the Pony Ears files and, at the beginning of this past week, I went ahead and decided to begin hypnosis sessions with the Twilight Sparkle files, and within the past few days decided that it would be a brilliant idea to chronicle my progress in a journal of some sort...so I started doing just that! I've been recording various bits of information and observations from each session starting with my final Pony Ears session on Monday the 14th, all the way through the present day and decided, now that I've gotten everything compiled into a concise and...well...somewhat scientific format, that I should begin posting everything here as I go, partly to help me keep track of my own progress and observations, and partly for the benefit of others...and hopefully some of you, by reading over my meticulously compiled data and observations, will have insights into some of the conundrums that I seem to be running into along the road of this hypnosis journey, or perhaps your own conundrums and difficulties as well. Happy As a rule of thumb, I start off all sessions with 5 to 10 minutes of relaxing music to help myself calm down and unwind a bit prior to attempting to trance. As well, unless otherwise noted, each session takes place with myself lying on my back, in some manner, in my loft bed, covered by a blanket of some sort, with my limbs relaxed, located such as to avoid contact with anything other than the bed and blanket. This first post will be quite long, as it will literally consist of the cumulative observations of about week-and-a-half’s worth of sessions. After this initial post I will be attempting to post on a daily to bi-daily basis with new observations from my (almost) daily sessions. As a point of reference, I'll go ahead and put my pre-hypnosis personality test [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. I will periodically test my trigger response and will add that in with the information for the session which the trigger test occurred after. I will also be adding any other information in that I believe to be pertinent on a per-session basis. Every so-often, perhaps every few days, perhaps once per week, depending, I will post a new personality test result, along with composite graphs of the latest result and the one immediately prior, with the graph lines labeled "2" and "1", respectively, for the sake of easier visual comparison.
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Day 1: Monday, January 14th, 2013

Session 1: Day session, starting at ~1:20pm EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Blank Mind, Pony Ears (No Intro, Ind. + BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm with neutral, positively-biased mood.
Mental state at end: Extremely relaxed with that nice, "just woke up", feeling and a calm, yet nicely elevated, optimistic mood. (Seems to be the general default for me immediately post-trance.)
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Trigger response: Minimal to almost non-existent.
Other notes: This final session with Pony Ears, roughly two weeks from when I first started with the Pony Ears files, yielded approximately the same results as all of my prior sessions starting from day three or four onward; varying degrees of highly temporary and vague phantom sensations. Despite wanting at the start of all of this to achieve strong results with Pony Ears prior to starting any sessions with other files (other than, of course, Blank Mind), I will, on a hunch and a hypothesis, be beginning sessions with either the Twilight Sparkle or Fluttershy files as of tonight.
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Day 2: Tuesday, January 15th, 2013

Session 2: Night session, starting at ~12:20am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Blank Mind, Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + BGM)
Mental state at start: Mostly calm, aside from a slight twinge of anticipation/excitement/nervousness at starting new files.
Mental state at end: Normal after-trance with a little bit of an introspective mood, of sorts, checking for any possible, observable initial after-effects.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: Vague overall sensations. I'm not even certain whether or not to classify them as phantoms. Strongest in fore-hooves and horn. No lingering effects of note post-trance.
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Session 3: Night session, starting at ~1:30am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Loop, no BGM)
Mental state at start: Directly post-trance from session 2.
Mental state at end: An odd, slight disorientation, primarily mental, lasting no longer than approximately 3 seconds, before I got my bearings and carefully removed my earbuds, then subsequently clambered gingerly down the ladder from my loft bed unto the bedroom floor.
Listening method: IPhone earbuds, nothing too fancy. Falling asleep with earbuds in proves mildly challenging, but it works better for sleep than with the usual, relatively large, over-ear headset on.
Other notes: No real physical sensations, but I did experience the oddest monetary mental disorientation immediately after waking up, as previously noted above.
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Day 3: Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Session 4: Night session, starting at ~12:15am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Blank Mind, Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm and relaxed, looking forward to another session after a lack of a session mid-day Tuesday.
Mental state at end: Typical post-trance, though additionally a bit excited and happy with the results of this session.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: During trance, similar sensation notes as per last time, though very slightly stronger, with some vague tail sensation (barely)...until close to the end, that's when things got interesting. I decided to turn something that, to this day, seems to hinder my hypnosis efforts, my exceptionally strong conscious mind, into a "force for good", if you will. I visualized Twi lying in bed on her back, similarly to myself at the time, and mentally transposed myself into her mind and body with spectacular results in addition to the already present vague sensations, dramatically building upon what the hypnosis alone had produced up to that point. As the session ended, I briefly felt almost exactly as though I were Twi, albeit with the accompanying perceptions of physical form being a bit vague.
Addendum: On a retrospective side-note...I'm considering these results a little bit of an outlier, as I have yet to successfully replicate this scenario, let alone improve upon it, despite efforts to do so.
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Session 5: Night session, starting at ~1:20am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Loop, no BGM)
Mental state at start: Directly subsequent to session 4.
Mental state at end: Nothing noticeable from the norm of waking up in the morning from a fairly sleepless night. Sleeping with the looping track proved to be a tad more difficult than usual. (I probably had the track a bit too loud.)
Listening method: IPhone earbuds.
Other notes: As mentioned, sleeping with the looped track proved to be difficult. I'm hypothesizing that I likely a) had the track a little too loud and b) am simply not used to sleeping with earbuds in the majority of the time.
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Day 4: Thursday, January 17th, 2013

Session 6: Night session, starting at ~12:30am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Loop, no BGM)
Mental state at start: Tired, drowsy, and just heading to bed.
Mental state at end: Again, nothing of particular note here.
Listening method: IPhone earbuds.
Other notes: I was particularly tired tonight and decided not to set aside time for a Blank Mind + Twi file session prior to sleep, so I merely attempted to run the loop track whilst I slept. No particularly notable results. I had another night of patchy sleep and, ergo, little to nothing in the way of dreams, let alone any that could potentially be tell-tale of anything.
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Session 7: Day session, starting at ~1:30pm EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Taurus Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + BGM)
Mental state at start: Moderately calm, albeit admittedly mildly annoyed/perturbed at the time for reasons that need not be elaborated upon here.
Mental state at end: Relaxed, calm, typical post-trance, with an interesting touch...
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: So, for this day session, I decided to try something different and just leave out the Blank Mind file, partly for the sake of time. Thankfully, I tranced almost as deeply without as with...almost. No real progress with the still extremely vague and short-lived physical sensations, despite attempting the mental trick of session 4, sadly with little effect. Interestingly, though, I did find myself thinking in Twi's voice off-and-on for the next few hours afterwards.
Addendum: Earlier today I stumbled upon links to cleaned up FemV Twi files in the /mlp/ thread. I'll likely see about giving one a trial run tonight to see how I like it vs the Taurus Twi files that I've been using.
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Day 5: Friday, January 18th, 2013

Session 8: Night session, starting at ~12:20am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Blank Mind, FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm, and a bit curious as to how FemV did with the Twi script. Happy
Mental state at end: Typical post-trance, though I've noticed that my "typical post-trance" with the Twi files has started to include some...Twi feelings...for a few minutes or more afterwards...I'm honestly not certain how else to describe it...unfortunately I seem to be having a hard time describing said sensation in concise, exact, understandable terms.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: There's not a lot to note about this session other than the above observation. I will likely be using the FemV Twi files from now on. The voice is, in some way, more soothing to me, and the reading contains more detail in several places (I love detail...the more the better. Happy), as well as having the iris color suggestion correct ("lavender" versus the, likely accidental, "blue" suggestion in the Taurus reading), which isn't a huge deal, but was always something that tweaked at my OCD-ish need for even the smallest details to be correct to a "T", whilst listening to the Taurus reading.
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Day 6: Saturday, January 19th, 2013

Session 9: Night session, starting at ~12:45am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: Tired and ready to go to sleep... XD
Mental state at end: Typical post-trance, though very sleepy. XD
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: I decided tonight to try using the no-BGM FemV Twi file instead of the one with BGM, to see if it would seem any better to me, as I observed that the BGM almost seemed to overpower FemV’s voice in my mind at times when I would be attempting to trance. I will now likely stick to the no-BGM file for the time being. Yet again, nothing too special to note here. I seem to have not tranced nearly as deeply as normal, and, ergo, had lesser results. I decided to skip the Blank Mind file for this session due to the fact that I started this one a bit later than usual and really wanted to get to sleep. (Its a small miracle that I didn't fall asleep during the file. XD )
Addendum: Another retrospective side-note...I have some hypotheses about my "normal" trances as far as depth and otherwise go, but I'll get to that later.
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Day 7: Sunday, January 20th, 2013

Session 10: Night session, starting at ~12:20am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: Blank Mind, FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: For the first time at the start of a session, I am...emotionally perturbed in more ways than one, for more reasons than one...this can only end well...
Mental state at end: Much calmer, but certainly thinking that attempting a session tonight was a bad idea, and I so ready to just go to sleep and forget this night prior to this session.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: This one certainly didn’t go too well. I was able to trance, but not very sustainably so... I get the feeling that I was in-and-out throughout the entire session...I should know better than to try and properly trance whilst so emotional...
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Day 8: Monday, January 21st, 2013

Session 11: Night session, starting at ~12:15am EST (GMT - 5).
File(s) used: FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm and slightly relaxed.
Mental state at end: Normal post-trance.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: Not much special to note here, other than that I kinda wanted to get to sleep, and ergo decided to skip Blank Mind this session. I tranced decently, but no noticeable progress was made.
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Day 9: Tuesday, January 22nd, 2013

Session 12: Night session, starting at ~12:20am EST (GMT - 5).

File(s) used: Blank Mind, FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: Inexplicably antsy and excitable for some reason...
Mental state at end: Considerably calmer and more relaxed but a tad frustrated with my inability to maintain much of a trance through the session.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: Hardly any results tonight. For some reason, throughout the session, I felt anxious and antsy, which, as one can imagine, made it hard to trance very deeply at all, on top of the fact that I kept getting odd itches and whatnot throughout, that repeatedly distracted me. I also noticed for the first time that the small amount of light trickling through the room’s windows at night may be hindering me slightly...I’ll look into some sort of blindfolding.
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Session 13: Day session, starting at ~1:45pm EST (GMT - 5).

File(s) used: Blank Mind, FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm and relaxed, and mildly happy. Smile
Mental state at end: Very calm and relaxed, fairly typical post-trance, feeling slightly as though Twi, with typing right now being just a tad awkward...I’m correcting myself a lot, because I’m having a hard time typing with my fingers right now, so I’m making plenty of mistakes...but nopony will see my mistakes, of course...I have to be sure to fix them before I’m finished here so that this reads perfectly well later.
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Blindfold: A simple, crocheted wool-yarn....square? that was once the beginning of a blanket that I began making many a year ago...I found it around, and it seemed convenient. Somewhat worked, but not entirely...I need a more proper, and comfortable, blindfold.... (any thoughts?)
Trigger response: Existent, but minimal, consisting merely of the faintest of physical sensations in the fore-hooves and ears, with a mild sense of instability as compared to the norm when standing on two legs and maintaining my typical bipedal gait.
Other notes: Slightly increased phantom sensations, mainly in hooves and some in the horn and tail, still minimal sensations as far as the mane and muzzle go.Slightly more in the way of an ears sensation and a mildly noticeable response to eyes suggestions.
Addendum 1: A short bit after getting up out of bed and moving around, I’ve noticed that I feel abnormally uncomfortable with a bipedal gait and seem to have persistent, slight, ear sensations, though nothing even vaguely solid. In addition, I’m thinking in Twi’s voice, or something close to it...a lot...
Addendum 2: Now that I have been doing sessions with the Twi hypnosis files for just over a full week, earlier today (prior to the above hypno session), I decided to take the personality test a second time. The graph was roughly the same shape, but I was quite surprised, to be honest. I had not really noticed many differences in either my personality or my responses to the questions in the test, but the results graph is very markedly narrower, pointing far less towards anypony other than Twi and Flutters. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], made with just a smidge of GIMP wizardry. Happy
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Day 10: Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

Session 14: Night session, starting at ~12:35am EST (GMT - 5).

File(s) used: Blank Mind, FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Ind. + no BGM)
Mental state at start: Calm, and looking forward to session.
Mental state at end: General post-trance, and exceptionally sleepy...
Listening method: Over-ear stereo headset.
Other notes: The itches were back again tonight...and I still have yet to figure out a good blindfold...next to no results tonight aside from some very vague sensations in my fore-hooves. Of note, though, was the most pronounced...umm...rump sensation...that I’ve had yet, despite my trance being aggravated, if you will, by the aforementioned itches and window light.
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Session 15: Night session, starting at ~1:55am EST (GMT - 5).

File(s) used: FemVoicebro Twilight Sparkle (Loop, no BGM)
Mental state at start: Slight post-trance from immediately prior session 14, and a bit tired.
Mental state at end: Uncertain, as my earbuds seem to have fallen out at some point whilst I was asleep. (Any suggestions in regard to sleeping with a looped track? I’ve had mixed success with my current methods to date.)
Listening method: IPhone earbuds.
Other notes: I wanted to get back to attempting to sleep with a looped track tonight. As it turns out, of the two FemV Twi files that I found and downloaded, neither was a Loop track...so I made my own in Audacity! Happy I was able to fall asleep fairly easily with the looped track playing just-audibly in my earbuds, despite the fact that I wasn’t able to fall asleep as readily with the past loop sessions with the Taurus Twi files, and even the Pony Ears files, though I’m not fully certain why. The one difficulty that I have now, it seems, is that my earbuds appear to have quite the propensity for being able to fall out rather readily whilst I sleep, which is odd considering that I typically don’t move around much, if at all, while I’m asleep, so I have no idea how they might get pulled out... Otherwise, there’s not much to note here. No dreams out of the ordinary, no notable effects when I woke up and realized that the earbuds had fallen out. I’m going to guess that they likely fell out relatively early on in the night...and I subsequently did not notice until close to 7:00am EST (GMT - 5).
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Phew! There we go! A whole bunch of hypnosis session data and observations all in one fell swoop! I do have some overall observations and hypotheses involving my trances that I shall state here and hopefully obtain some feedback on...as I’m hitting a couple of small roadblocks. First of all, I’m not actually certain that I’m hitting all that deep of a trance each session. I seem to be getting to a certain point, and then there’s something that seems to prevent me from going any deeper. I base this supposition on a number of factors, partly that, despite the fact that, in theory, I should not remember hardly anything about the files from the end of the Blank Mind induction all the way through the end of the Twi file waking, but in practice, I generally have a decent recollection of at least the majority of the file’s audio. Furthermore, the profound lack of a trigger response seems to me to point as well to a lesser depth of trance, as well as relative ease of said trances getting rather easily broken by very minor distractions (granted, I’m not fully literate when it comes to hypnosis and related topics, so I may be incorrect here).

On a related note that I hypothesize may have something to do with my inability to achieve all that great of a depth of trance is, aside from the exceptional strength of my conscious mind, which I mentioned above in the journal, the fact that, for some reason which I have yet to fully identify, I seem to have great difficulty staring at the colors on the back of my eyelids and thus my eyes have nothing to blank them out, to occupy them, so they seem to focus “inwards” and pick up on and amplify, in a sense, any stray thoughts that involve visual elements of any sort. I had more in mind, but I’ve literally taken so long to type all of this out now that I can’t quite remember it all...I suppose I should have written it down... ^^” Perhaps I’m over-analyzing and over-thinking this, perhaps I’m inadvertently putting too much conscious effort into trying to trance and into, subsequently, visualizing the transformations, etc that are mentioned in the hypnosis files that I’ve been using...that would be far too much like typical me... XD If anypony has any insights, thoughts, or suggestions, they would be beyond appreciated of course, and, if I am in fact thinking about all of this far too hard, feel free to let me know...I tend to do that with a lot of things. XD Thank you all so much for reading and even greater thanks in advance for any thoughts and replies! Happy And, if you read through this entire, massive post, word for bloody word.....mega thanks to you! You are an incredible, and patient pony indeed! Smile (I would be one to read this whole thing word-for-word, but I don’t expect that most others will...and I can’t blame you if you didn’t, it's an awful lot to read! XD )

And now that that's done...*phew*...I'm going to bed! Adios for now! Happy
-Midnight
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Re: And so it begins.... (Journal Entry 1)

Post by 8bitmason on Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:52 pm

after all this typeing you deserve a good nap. (probably my iner rainbow speaking there) have a good sleep and good night!
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